Attractive Weirdness of the Elder

I was thrilled to be asked to offer a tune on my fiddle and a poem during one of two evening presentations by author and healer Malidoma Somé last month, presented by local organizer and men's work leader Dan Gorbunow in association with Mankind Project Minnesota. If you don't follow Somé's work, I recommend him highly. He has two PhD's and is initiated as an elder in his village in Burkino Faso, and is in the west, acting as a conduit between his somewhat mythologically intact culture and contemporary post-modern society. He has thrilled, perplexed and inspired us for many years up at the Minnesota Men's Conference.

Somé's society puts the initiation of youth into adulthood at the center of village life in order to maintain that life. Elders of his village are the "guardrails" for this work, he says, that allows youth to "bloom" and learn to use their gifts.

During his presentation, I was struck by his description of the worthy elder, and realized that these are the ones that I meet that I trust. Somé says the elder should seek an authenticity that is not self-assigned, and one that youth will immediately recognize. This authenticity is based in humility, my own lived experience, is not about seeking my own benefit, and is seen as a potential helping tool for everyone. As he said that, I realized these are the elders I trust and am immediately drawn toward. Somé says, "Our culture doesn't need old people, but we do need elders." Boy, do we ever!

Somé went on to say that the elder should seek an aesthetic that is an "attractive weirdness" that is true to ourselves, and that immediately communicates to the youth that where they are headed is just fine.

Working with elders in Kairos Dance Theatre's Dancing Heart™ program, I try to be vulnerable to their "blessing," even if it is a fleeting smile, to show them that they have this power. And, as I seek to develop my own capability and visibility as an elder, I start to pay more attention to what the world and people in the world want from me, and less attention to what I think I want.

It is humbling and touching to be asked to do something or be someone for a younger person, so that he or she might navigate some narrow passageway and blossom into someone and something bigger that might serve our community. That trust that he or she can extend to me is precious and I try to be worthy of it.